Beyond Nikon 2001 Poetry Contest Entries

THE SHOOTING OF DAN MCFERRILL , by Mike Levy
(With a nod to Robert Service in a transparent attempt to influence judging)

A bunch of the boys were whooping it up at a camera show one day,
The kid that just joined was lapping it up listing to what we said,
And back of a table counting his wares sat Dangerous Dan McFerrill
And watching his hoard was his light-o¹ love the beauteous Marcy Merrill.

When into the room stalked a guy named McBroom and into the din and glare
An "expert," he strode, and struck up a pose and said "McKeown¹s a Liar."
He looked like man with a foot in the grave and scarcely the strength of a
louse,
Yet he had a faint dash and maybe some cash as he turned and took in the
house.

There¹s men that somehow just grip your eyes, and hold them hard like a
spell.
And such was he and he looked to me like a man who had lived in hell
With a face most spare and the dreary stare of a man who had surfed too long
Searching eBay and Yahoo and others seeking for what was long gone.
And I got to figger¹n who he was and decided "what the hell"
When I turned my head an d watching him too -- was the gal named Marcy
Merrill

His eyes went rubbering round the room and he seemed in kin d of a daze
Till at last A Speed Graphic fell into view and the newcomer up and says:
"I had one like that upon a time, and Agfa and Retina too,
"And that Rollei right there and the Contax so spare and the Fed that was
painted blue
And Kodaks galore, Conleys, a score, and Voigtlanders one or twoS"
Then all, of a sudden his visage changed and he shook his head, not in
fear,
But it looked like his life had been looted clean of all he had once held
dear
His cameras gone, like the woman he loved, her love was a devil¹s lie,
And his guts were gone and he felt the best was to crawl away and die
OTwas the crowning cry of a hearts despair and it thrilled and it sent a
chill
"I guess I¹ll make it a spread misere" said Dangerous Dan McFerrill

McBroom turned and his eyes they burned, like a flashbulb¹s fading glare
The he set his lips in a kind of grin and spoke -- and his voice was calm.
"My boys," says he "you don¹t know me and none of you care a damn
"But I want to state and my words are straight, so I want you to listen well
That one of you is a hound of hell S and that one is Dan McFerrill"

Then I ducked my head, and the lights went out and two guns blazed in the
dark
And a woman screamed and the light went up and two men lay stiff and stark.
Pitched on his head, and pumped full of lead, was Dangerous Dan McFerrill
While he who¹d surfed lay clutched to the breast of the lady named Marcy
Merrill.

I\ been checkin the entrance and so far see
A lot of free verse, not potree
We need rhythm, we need rhyme
We need ISO 400 most the time

I'll be entrin but not today\
Not util suthin fotographic comes my way

Three Brownie Knockoff Haiku

By Neal Ulevich [Pulitzer prize winning Neal Ulevich, I might add. -MM]

Pro-Tak Spectator
Black leather trim, Ramar lens
Aged shutter still works

Ponder reflex view
Through seven decades dimness
Agfa Shur-Shot lives

The Clix One Twenty
Seen at Julesburg on the Plains
Sold for a sawbuck

You know Leica and Nikon and Agfa and Contax;
Canon and Rollei and Bessa and Minox....
but do you recall the most obscure Classic of all????

****Jing Jiiiiing Jing Jing****

Petri the Obscure Classic
Has a bumpy Circle Eye
And if you ever saw it,
You would seldom stop to buy.

All of the camera writers
Used to laugh and call it names
They never let poor Petri
enjoy any Classic Fame.

Then when auctioned on E-bay
the bidders marveled: "My!"
Petri with your Circle Eye,
you have no batteries to die.

Then all the cultist's loved it
as they shouted out with glee
Keep all your snotty Leica's
I shoot with my old Petri !

Sung to the tune of "When You Wish Upon A Star"
and dedicated to the Remarkable Petri 7s 35mm Camera
with the patented "Circle Eye" metering system.

When You Have a Circle Eye:

When you have a Circle Eye,
there's no batteries to buy.
Your shutter is mechanical,
and your meter's true.

The wonder of selenium,
makes the Petri so much fun.
A sun powered meter can't be sweeter,
and needs no plutonium.

So buy a Petri; don't delay,
You can find one on E-bay.
A Second hand 2.8 is nice,
but the 1.8'ssssss GRAND !

-Ken

***PHOTOGRAPHY WITH DAD*********

with quivering hands and sweaty palms
i took my dads cam into my arms
i was a tiny nervous child
but dad made it better with a smile
he taught me all the stuff i needed to know
then he let me have a go
that first pic came out a bit crooked
but it was a first timer who took it
this was the birth of a lifelong friendship,
me, my dad and his cam swingin at his hip
my dad was my mentor,my teacher,my friend
and our fun times taking pictures together new no end
that era is past now, a wonderfull time
and all my pics have since come out fine
though i've taken many snaps since then
i still have that first pic when,
with quivering hands and sweaty palms
i took my dads cam into my arms.....

by - Arvind Nebhnani

heck i'm no poet but i think this sounds quite good if i do say so myself

Ode to My Petri 7s*

Oh Seven S
Oh Seven S
I wonder at
Your usefulness!

Your body speaks of quality
While remaining battery-free

Oh Seven S
Oh Seven S
I wonder at
Your usefulness!

Though Kuribayashi sounds so strange
You were priced in an affordable range

Oh Seven S
Oh Seven S
I wonder at
Your usefulness!

Oh Swell Petri, You're Dear Me
Far more than any Contax D

Oh Seven S
Oh Seven S
I wonder at
Your usefulness!

* with the exclusive Circle Eye ™ metering
Ken

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who developed his film in a bucket
His negs really looked like crap
'Cause he used salt water, not tap
Since that's all they have on Nantucket

and that's my last attempt at a lame limerick that I knew I should
not have started!
There was a young woman from Tokeland ...

okay you finish it!
Cheers,
Mark

Okay, I will: There was a young woman from Tokeland ...

Who once was mistaken for someone from Oakland.
She was using a Rover
She'd bought when she'd taken a trip over
To L.A.

So it was most likely that camera
That caused the clamor
Which made her stammer
"I live in Tokeland
But I'm originally from Michigand
And I've got the Nikons
To prove I'm level-headed
And not a Californian
at all."
-SNQ

Marcy, this one kind of sung to Lola...

A long time ago in a store far away
I bought a camera called HOLGA
H-O-L-G-A, HOLGA, HO HO HO HO HOLGA
It snapped a picture and then I wound
the roll of film without a sound, on my HOLGA,
H-O-L-G-A, HOLGA HO HO HO HO HOLGA
The pictures they were very poor, but I'm not shootin
for NGS anymore,
with my H-O-L-G-A, HOLGA HO HO HO HO HOLGA

I took aim and shot
The photos they were hot
But my prints were bad
the light leaks made me sad
in my HOLGA,
H-O-L-G-A, HOLGA...

(Please pardon my misuse of LOLA!)
Mark

Today I bought a new camera
It was more expensive than the old
It has auto-everything- exposure, focus and such
The maker says it will do it all, just send them the roll.
The problem with my Brownie is that it not's for me
My view camera is much better, even though it's slow
I just like seeing upside down and not through a little hole.

Pretty lame, but hey, Captain, I'm an entomologist not a poet! Cheers, Mark

Here is something that I've never thought,
It came to me with the first camera bought:
To be a true Photographica Collector,
Old and decrepit Cameras Benefactor;
So now I buy them by the dozen,
Be they all perfect or stuck frozen!
I collect Cameras, Finders and Lenses,
Some day, I hope, I'll come back to my senses.

Lew Steinfeld,
Rio de Janeiro, January 24th, 2001.

Up before the rooster
Up before the mice
Get the Bag and the box
Don't for get the sticks
No time for coffee or cake
Maybe after I get the big one.
Drive to the spot.
Set up the sticks and the box
Aim for the horizon
How big? How small?
How fast? How slow?
Set the tension - pray a little
I can see the big one rising
Below the incredible clouds turning gray and pink
It will show it's shiny face too soon
I must make my move
CLICK - perfect.

Mandell Winter, Jr.

Oh, btw, I hate poetry.

I'M SAD FOR PEOPLE

I'm sad for people
pinning for temporal glory,
their only passion,
that in some fable
they will be remember'd for ever.
Power & glory
are in fact
very much like wine,
We drink and drink
and yet are thristy all the time.
We"ll be immortal
not by
caste, class or birth;
my this, my that-
what nonsense-
Will not immortalise me.
Let every
race
colour
be invited
to share life's
lyrics joys,
live united
as brothers &
cultured persons.
KARUNESH AGRAWAL

Sir,
I'm sending my poem for participating in your poetry contest. Kindly do needful and oblige.
YOURS
DR. SANTOSH KUMAR
4/2 B, L.I.G. GOVINDPUR COLONY,
ALLAHABAD-211004 (U.P.) INDIA

NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST

Thirty billion missiles
Fifty thousand warheads
Why? Why?
Why carpet bombs, human bombs?
Hurry up, create love ,create peace.
Nuclear holocaust! Radiation poison!
In our bones you attack.
O pestilence! You laugh like Satan.
Lamb?
Yes, Lamb is life.
While Lord reigns,
Our planet is safe.
Christ'd subdued the Bomb-
It's a fact
And we'll be new men.
It is very sad,
It won't be early.

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